What 20 years of Twilight means to me

Twilight, again.

Twenty years ago, Twilight was published on October 5, 2005. I didn’t read it then. In fact, Twilight wasn’t on my radar until January 2008, when talk of its movie – and speculation around casting – started to work Internet pop culture circles into a frenzy. Never wanting to be out of the loop, I went to the bookstore and scoured the young adult section until I found it.

I was surprised I’d never noticed it before, this book with pale white hands cradling a perfect red apple. Aesthetically, it was right up my alley – because, yes, I do judge a book by its cover. And I’d always been a voracious reader, sneaking the likes of V.C. Andrews and Stephen King and Christopher Pike into my backpack long before I should have been reading any of their works. But, better late than never, I bought a paperback copy and took it home.

I devoured it in days, enthralled by the vampiric kiss of first love. Obsessed, I stumbled out into a snowstorm to buy New Moon and Eclipse, then waited – feral, foaming at the mouth – for the final installment in the series.

When Breaking Dawn was finally released in August 2008, its midnight release party at a local bookstore marked the first time I ever cosplayed as Alice. I didn’t have a great visual reference for her yet, so I crafted a look inspired by the way I saw her in the books: spunky, pixie-like, a little mischievous.

The rest, as they say, is history.

At Forever Twilight in Forks, much of my work as an Alice Cullen character actor has been influenced by the films. Imagination is too broad to reliably capture; fans want to see the characters as they know them from the big screen. That means re-creating screen accurate costumes and wigs, learning an actor’s mannerisms, mimicking recognizable lines from the film script. But those who know me – even a little – know the books are my truest love.

So, when Forever Twilight in Forks told us we’d be celebrating 20 years of Twilight this year – and gave us free reign to bring the book version of Stephenie’s characters to life – it felt like a creative dream come true. Not only that, but Stephenie Meyer herself would be in attendance – and her team wanted the Olympic Coven to be part of her book signing event.

Best of all: we’d get to meet Stephenie. Dressed as her characters as she imagined them.

Now, I’d already met Stephenie twice before: once in 2013 and once in 2015. Both occasions were at the festival. In 2013, she showed up in impromptu fashion, but news that she was there rippled through town before she could even leave her first stop, the Visitor’s Information Center. That year, we had intimate access to her, taking photos, making s’mores, and sitting around a campfire with her on the beaches of La Push. It was a little different in 2015: a structured signing event to celebrate the ten-year anniversary of Twilight and surprise release of Life and Death.

On both occasions, she was incredibly kind and down to earth, with an acerbic sense of humor I think would surprise most people. To me, she’s always come across as a very shy person who’s surprised she crafted something this lasting. Someone who cares deeply about their creative world and struggles to separate herself from its critical reception because it’s so real, so personal, to her.

I get it. I’m the same way.

Both times, I met her dressed as the movie version of Alice. The first time, I was in Alice’s Michael Kors Driving Coat from New Moon, almost shrouded behind her oversized sunglasses and headscarf. The second time, I was in Alice’s cafeteria outfit from Twilight. At the time, I was proud of those looks. Since then, though, my version of Alice has improved. My wigs are more natural. My contact lenses are higher quality. My makeup is better. My stage presence is stronger. The same can be said of our entire group.

When I met Stephenie this time, it would finally be as the best version of myself as Alice.

As a group, we decided to dress as our characters as seen in the Twilight Illustrated Guide. It felt important to us that we be recognizable to Stephenie in the way she first imagined them. We spent months perfecting our looks, hunting down clothing and wigs and accessories that perfectly matched the characters as they’d been drawn.

My heart hammered as I waited in line to meet Stephenie. We were allowed to bring one item for her to sign; I chose the Greek edition of Midnight Sun. I’m Greek and learning to speak the language after failing to become fluent as a child. With a year of dedicated classes under my belt, it’s my dream to be able to eventually read my Greek copy of the book. That’s my litmus test for how much I’ve learned.

When it was my turn, I skipped up to Stephenie’s table with a smile, clutching my book in both hands. Immediately, she said, “oh, my God, it’s Alice. You look amazing.”

I’m sure I exhaled with relief. I don’t really remember. I think I might have blacked out for a moment.

Why relief? Well, she recognized who I was supposed to be, for one. For another, she sounded excited when she said it. She paid me a compliment. And, sure, maybe she was just being nice. But she didn’t have to be. And that kindness meant a lot to me.

From there, we chatted about my Greek edition of Midnight Sun and why I’d brought it with me. She said she’d tried to learn a new language as an adult, too, and found it hard. I said I believed in both of us. And that was it.

Very brief. But very cool.

Once the Olympic Coven was through the line, we took our places in front of two different step and repeats stationed around the gym at Forks High School. And for the next few hours, we took photos with every single fan who came through Stephenie’s line. It wasn’t lost on me that during her big moment, Stephenie and her team chose to platform us as creators, providing us with an amazing moment of visibility and validation after so many years of work at the festival.  

It’s been seventeen years since I first read Twilight. When I picked up the book one cold day in January, I never could have imagined the warmth I’d find in its pages and its community. The people I’ve met, the adventures I’ve had, the opportunities I’ve chased in the years since – so few of them happen without Twilight.

I can’t tell you where the next twenty years will take me. Or you. But I can tell you we’ll always, always, have Twilight.

xoxo,
Alice